4 Ways To Find The One!


Finding time for dating is as essential to your life as you want it to be. If you want to share your life with the right person you have to first meet them. Then the question lingers, "How do I find this person?" 

The easiest, most practical way of course is with deliberate and concise thinking just before laying down to sleep.  The intention is that they'll appear after a really good dream of the perfect person and like magic...waalah! They are fixing you breakfast right there in your kitchen in their birthday suit but then you awake only to find an empty kitchen.  You have realized it may take a little extra work than dynamic dreams to find the one for you.   Like with anything you want, you need to put in time and effort to find someone until your dream is cultivated into reality. 

Most importantly you have to want it and be open.  Let's explore some simple ways of finding the right person for you.

1. Your Friends and Family 

Who know's you better than your friends and family?  Who have you trusted over the years and would want to see you happy?  Ask them casually, “hey do you know of anyone who you think may be a match for me?”. They may have forgotten about their single attractive neighbor, or a colleague who’s also in the same boat.  Asking won't hurt, and your loved ones will jump at the opportunity to help you. 

2. The Infamous Online Dating Scene

Contrary to popular belief, the online dating scene is no longer a shameful secret.  People date online! The number one reason I hear why people do not register to online dating sites is that it's too impersonal and that they don't know the people with whom their meeting.  No matter how you meet a stranger, if it's through a friend, at the grocery store or at a bar, they are a stranger until they no longer are. 

Online dating is a very legitimate, though time consuming way of finding someone.   You should be alert and smart, no less than you’d be if you met them organically as people say.  It takes patience and absolute dedication to find someone on these online dating sites, and then there are times where my friends have found their spouses by being online for only a week or two.  So when it's meant to be, it'll be,

3. Get Out!

The only way to meet new people is to GET OUT!  Try a Salsa Dancing Class,  go out to a local bar and chit chat with the person next to you, join a book club, or volunteer.   You may not meet the person your met to be with right then and there but you'll learn a better way of adaptation, and if you continue going out on your own, you'll be a dating magnet in no time! 

I understand those who may have anxiety about going out on their own. It will certainly take an act of faith and bravery but persistence will prevail.  I have faith in you! 

4. Personal Matchmaker 

Hiring a professional matchmaker is perfect, especially when you are too busy for online dating and when no other conventional method has worked thus far. A personal matchmaker looks for someone who is best suited for you, therefore supplying you with qualified dates. 

The best way to find a great matchmaker is by meeting with them in person, asking them pertinent questions, reviewing their company's contract thoroughly, and getting a clear grasp of what they will be doing for you and what you will be gaining as a result of paying for their services and for how long.  Look for great reviews and also take heed and meet with multiple matchmakers and compare their services.

Needless to say we know of an awesome Matchmaking company dedicated to their clients success of finding "The One."  Check us out here fatebydesign.com

Best of luck to you and your dating endeavors! 





We often over or underestimate what a date should be.  A date should be fun and engaging. It's often why a movie and dinner can sometimes be stifling. Every now and then we have to mix it up!  Whether you have just started dating or if you’ve been married for 20yrs, learning each other as you grow and experiencing new things can only help to improve your relationship. It helps in communication and in keeping the relationship free of monotony.  With that said dating get’s expensive! We need a break from expenses from to time. Here’s our pick for the top 5 budget friendly, and quite unique dates in Philly.


1.  A picnic sounds cliche right? But how often have you really enjoyed Philadelphia’s Fairmount Park? Philly has the largest urban park in the nation! There are hidden gems all over the place. You can post up just about anywhere and have it be your very own private oasis, a welcoming escape from the city hustle. Bring a blanket, a bottle of wine, and grab some sandwiches and treats from your favorite eatery. Enjoy!


2. Troll through the cities many trails on a sun filled day while enjoying your partner’s company and awesome conversation, all while burning off some calories.  Trails to mention are Wissahickon Valley Park, Schuylkill Bank, and the Manayunk Canal. Though this is just few. For a less amateur hike, try the Benjamin Franklin walkway, cross the bridge from Philly over into Camden. The incline is “Whoa”!

3.  Gauge your artsy and explore the iconic Philadelphia Art Museum every Wednesday night from 5pm to 8:45pm, where Admission is pay what you wish. Walk through the galleries, read up on the artist and their work and discuss your interest with your partner.


4. Volunteer! Habitat for Humanity and PhilAbundance have easy sign ups, or join a local soup kitchen.  Google Volunteer and I promise the opportunities are endless. You have always been meaning to do something more for your community.  You have been saying it, thinking it for years! A date doesn’t have to be glam. Be selfless for the day, help contribute to your community while working with your date! Carving out your Saturday early is perfect for this type of dedication.

5. Host Game Night. Pick a game. You invite your friends. Your boo invites their friends.  Though keep it to a minimum because we are on a budget. Tell them to bring the booze. Order 3 to 4 large cheese pizza’s from a local pizzeria who is bound to have a deal on a Friday or Saturday night.  Enjoy a night of laughter and bonding with your bae, new friends and old.



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There are many tales that exclaim love will never falter.  Love falters when you run from what’s true.  Love is in you and if you hide from it,  I mean absolutely bury it deep down,  love will struggle to thrive, and eventually, it will falter because you’ve let it.

Fearlessness breeds love and acceptance.  Fear hinders its existence.

- Fate by Design -     

Nigerian Dating

Nigerian Dating

The unwritten rules of Nigerian dating

LIFE in Lagos can be hard, even for a young, salaried professional. The long working hours, the endless traffic and the pressure to keep up appearances in a city that idolises wealth often leave people exhausted by the weekends, which are packed with lavish weddings and lengthy church services.

A Man's Perspective

A Man's Perspective

I came across the below article written by a JP Mikal. He touches on his life as a stay at home father and husband. Well educated as he is, he and his wife came to the realization that between them,  his wife garnerned a higher income. It was financially beneficial for JP to stay at home with the kids, while his wife continued to flourish in her career. 

She, like many women wanted the attention of having a man cater to her for a night.  Take her out on the town every now and then. It had become a nuisance in a sense for him to hear his wife's complaints because he too wanted to be "Wined and Dined" as he put it.

In reading his article, I thought how easy it is to overlook the needs of your partner. It's not that its purposeful, life just tends to move almost at rapid speed, especially when you have a family to attend to everyday with no days off.  Although the non purposeful  overlooking carries on day after day, all of a sudden it becomes a purposeful disregard of your partners needs, and an overwhelming sense of your own that have gone ignored and unnurtured. Ugh...and the frustration festers and grows weary. 

How easy it is to forget to encourage your partner in their goals, in their career, and to truly notice them everyday, not for their faults or the routine you've grown accustomed but to actually touch on their wants and needs.  It's a challenge but it's certainly worthy of letting your partner know what you need out of the relationship often so that the two of you are growing together. And so that one day you don't wake up asking yourself "Who am I?" and "Who's this person I'm sleeping beside?" and "Why am I here, with you?" .

Sweep Him Off His Feet! -

It had been bothering me for awhile now. Something she would say late in the evenings after the kids had gone to bed, or while taking a stroll with the family on the weekends when the baby was quiet and the other kids were chatting away about nothing in particular.



The Australian Business Insider gives us a snapshot of Leila Lowndes book, " How to Talk to Anyone".  It's an oldie, yet still rings true.  Leila, painfully shy well into adulthood became a professional public speaker as she vowed to get over her fear of communicating. 

Of the 92 Communicating Tricks in her book,  Maggie Zhang, of ABI elaborates on 7 body languages from Leila's book.

7 body language tricks to make anyone instantly like you

There's no question that body language is important. And, according to Leil Lowndes in her book "How To Talk To Anyone," you can capture - and hold - anyone's attention without even saying a word. We've selected the best body language techniques from the book and shared them below: "Don't flash an immediate smile when you greet someone," says Lowndes.




#1.   shirts are highly encouraged!

Although women find a man's physique with nicely sculpted abs lovely to glance at.  There is usually a reason for it,  and in the online case, it's the obscene reason when a strange man has taken a selfie of himself awkwardly glaring in a mirror, bare chest staring back proudly as it may,  a woman's first thought destined to come to mind, even after an appreciative grin is “Tool”.    

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I know this may come as a surprise to some. But we humans don't typically meet each other bare-chested.  Online dating is already unfamiliar and awkward, why enhance that awkwardness?


#2. lazy Profile 

So... get this you are a good looking guy,  even if it's an awkward good looking, you enjoy attending Football games or binge-watching Netflix, your friends find you remotely funny or maybe they find you weird, you love the game chess, and on Saturday’s you volunteer or perhaps you spend your weekends doing nothing.  Whatever it is, let your profile speak to who you are and to a potential date. It's important that you paint a picture,   it doesn’t have to be long-winded(actually we'd very much prefer it never be long winded) but it should be informative,  confident and charismatic.

Women are not the visual creatures to the extent men are, more than “Ask Me” written on your profile, which will surely bore a woman to tears, and have her quickly swipe left.  Just think of the endless back and forth emails:( Even if you're a drop-dead gorgeous man, "the one" could be passing you by.  A well-written profile will allow for a woman to ask questions based on its content.  This will gauge whether there is an interest or any commonalities.  To make it easier remove your ego from the game, and get in the game! 


#3. no one-liners. get to the point.

Hey. Hi. What’s Up?  Sexy.... How u doin'? How’s your day going?

If you want a woman’s attention and a reply,  show her that you read her profile and that you have a genuine interest in getting to know her.  

Hello, my name is Ron and I enjoyed reading your profile. I see your favorite season is Winter because you enjoy the crisp air. Do you also enjoy skiing? I’ve been wanting to learn for years now, maybe we could learn together? I'd be honored if you read my profile. If after reading it, you find yourself interested please message me back. Looking forward to hearing from you.

Keep it simple, quirky, a little corny is fine. The art of romance is slowly dying; however, women still love for a man to take control. Hi, how's your day going? And the back and forth that is likely to proceed can be very time-consuming and mindless.   Spark the interest, wait for the reply, if it's good, ask her out for coffee.  If it's not good,  humbly write it off as a loss and find your next catch! 

#4.  who's that lady in your photo?

You look great in that photo, but who's that woman you have your arm wrapped around? Is she your ex-girlfriend that you're clearly not over, or perhaps your current!? Geesh...  When it comes to profile pics, even if it's with your sister, a friend, or a cousin the best profile photos are up close and SOLO.  Why leave it to chance and be swiped left?  

#5. be a gentleman

Women like gracious, humble, and sane men. Don't go all Ike Turner on an email if a woman doesn't respond to you at all or in the way you expected. Also unless you are on a site that promotes sexual encounters it's highly inappropriate to make sexual innuendos to women online.  

Men I hope after reading this you have been able to make some adjustments and if you found yourself reading this thinking you've been doing it right this whole time, congratulations you are well on your way to finding the one!